Author: Muthoni
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I Can’t Wait to Get High
Growing up, I was always a plump little munchkin. Baby fat and all. Just freaking adorable. Until the baby fat decided to grow up with me and soon, all the cute looks and abujubujus turned into looks of concern and worry. Despite my growing fat, I was a very active child. I swam competitively till…
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The Real Heroes
We get lost approximately four times before we find it. Our driver, we’ll call him Ngugi, is a man with a thick Kikuyu accent and the look to match. Google Maps is failing us, but Ngugi isn’t shy about asking for directions. He isn’t one of those with egos too fragile so we stop at…
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I met Emily today
I met Emily today. A ball of sunshine. Warmth in human form. Unlike Nairobi. Which has been taking the whole warmth thing a little too literally. The city has been on fire. Today was cooler than yesterday, and yesterday was cooler than the day before. A welcome reprieve from the heat, but by 4 p.m.,…
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The Man in the Dust
I’m dressed in orange baggy shorts. A black T-shirt with Mickey Mouse animation on it. Blue socks. Purple Crocs. A navy blue hat I got from some expo at KICC. I’m not exactly giving runway with that combination. Or am I? Have you seen what they’re calling high fashion lately? Point is, I am comfortable…
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BE A NUISANCE
I drove home in silence that night. Not ready to let reality back in just yet. I wanted to sit with everything the evening had stirred up and let it unravel me. I wanted to change careers. I wanted to stop right there and stand up for something. Begin a protest at 11:52pm in the…
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Shawry For Trees
The Odyssey was a very well-marketed movie. So well marketed, in fact, that it was marked on my calendar. And I’m not even the mark-it-on-the-calendar type. I’m crazy about medieval movies. Give me dramatic costumes, people riding horses through mist, unnecessarily large swords and somebody screaming about honour, and I’m sold. So off I went.…
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Unrequited What?
When I was 26, I fell in love for the first time in my life. But that’s a story for another day. You know what I don’t think we talk enough about? Unrequited love. Okay, fine. We talk and sing about it far too much. Or maybe just enough. But how often is it really…
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Gamaliel’s Feet – Part II
You see, in my 9-5, I write code. Three weeks ago, I stumbled onto something. Lemme tell you about it. …… I pull down the handle and push the door open to reveal what looks like heaven. Not for any reason other than because it is so bright. Floor-to-ceiling windows. White desks reflecting and further…
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POSH IS A TREE
Octopus Balls are not it! And now that that’s settled, let’s begin. If I have anyone take me on a Java-type date once more, I am shooting them in the foot. Am I the only one who thinks our definiton of “posh” is all warped? Everyone wants to go out and post a photo of…
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TO BE LOST
What happens when the person who has always been praised for knowing the right path discovers that the path itself was never hers? When I was 13, in high school, I was part of the Presidential Award Club. I don’t know if that still exists today, but it was this super cool extracurricular that involved…